how to reset after crashing out
a 60 min spring palette cleanser
Every spring I come back to T.S. Eliot’s maxim: April is the cruelest month. There’s something about emerging from a long, frigid winter that unnerves me. Among my friends it feels like there’s a collective feeling of exhaustion.
I love the fresh start of a new year, and it always feels like April is the month where I start to unravel — for the first time in 2025, I’ve missed multiple entries in my journal, my Strava weekly mileage sits at 0, and my wakeup time slips later and later.
Work has gotten busier which means that I constantly feel like I’m rushing to get things done. Every morning I wake up exhausted, feeling the weight of things I’m behind on: emails that spring up overnight, homework for my Parsons class that I haven’t done, taxes I’m procrastinating on, clothes I’ve promised myself I’d sell. On top of that, I feel like I’ve barely seen my friends, I’m perennially in a negative spiral and my skin is breaking out. All I want is reprieve from feeling bad. And maybe to sleep for 13 hours.
Usually I write a post once I’ve figured something out, but to be honest I’m still stuck in this spring rut. Hopefully that means that this post is more pragmatic because I’m still in it. So if you’re feeling a little off lately, this ones for you and me:
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Know thyself (10 min)
#1 Get it out of your system: I believe that our bodies hold a lot of the subconscious emotions and anxieties that our mind hasn’t even registered. One of my fundamental beliefs is that you need to get out all the bad stuff so that it doesn’t fester. I’m a proponent in the power of a good yap, but journaling is usually the most accessible outlet.
A good brain dump allows me to problem solve – right now the root of my issues is that I’m going to bed too late (it’s 11.39pm as I write this). It’s all in an effort to get more done but the resulting effect is that I’ve been skipping my morning workouts and waking up late, stressed and grumpy.
I realize that journaling isn’t necessarily natural or intuitive so if you don’t know where to start, set a 10 min timer, put on a good playlist (been loving the marias lately) and start with a few prompts:
What are the highs and lows this week?
What’s taking a lot of space in your brain right now?
Brain dump every thing that you feel like you’re behind on.
What do you need to being doing more/less of?
And if journaling doesn’t work for you, find something that does: call your long distance best friend or schedule a dinner with a friend, read what Ask Polly has to say, or just talk aloud to yourself. The point is to get it all out of your system and you can free up your mind to take in new thoughts and observations.
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Hit reset (30 min)
At my old job, our head of equity capital markets used to constantly say on calls “momentum begets momentum”. I believe this applies to our routines as much as it does to securing anchor investors for an IPO. If the vibes have been off in the first half of your day, think about your day as in 2-3 mini days and signal to yourself that you have a fresh start.
#2 Find the closest body of water: One of the best parts of living in Sydney was having an accessible body of water at all times. I find the ocean to be extremely healing, and getting to jump into a chilly natural bath in the morning will definitely reset your body.
In New York, the closest thing I can get is a body of water is a hot shower or a walk along the Hudson. When I’m in need of a break, I’ll sometimes take a 15 min walk along the piers (no headphones, sorry) and look out at the water. The grey of the Hudson/East River aren’t always the most aesthetically appealing, but it usually does the trick of reminding me that my problems are mostly small and insignificant.
If you’re WFH and have the luxury of a shower, try a lunchtime shower: wash your hair, use your good hair milk, and wrap yourself up in a plush bath towel. Get all the dirt and negativity out and enter the rest of your day as a new born baby.
#3: A little treat: One thing I’ve found helpful is to have go-to treat / coffee spots that are various walking distance away. While I’m in a hurry, I go to my 2 min spot: there’s a McNally Jackson close to my office that I’ll get a coffee at. If I have 10 min, the Suited in FiDi has some of the best coffee I’ve had in the city. I know there’s usually a sense of guilt when it comes to spending money and sweets, but treat it as something to look forward to and a reward for getting back on track.
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Reframe your mind (20 min)
I’m lucky in that most of the problems that stress me out endlessly are at the end of the day, inconsequential. But when you’re in the thick of it, every little setback can feel like the end of the world, and we rarely have the opportunity to take ourselves out of it. I think we all need a break from thinking about ourselves and remembering that most of our problems are solvable and ones that we are lucky to have.
#4: Zoom out from your world: Thanks to the iPhone “This Day X Years Ago” feature, Rhys will often text me in the middle of the day a horrific photo of me. I almost always cringe, but it’s also a sweet, low lift way to say to a friend that you’re thinking about them. I am notoriously terrible at texting but a photo is short and sweet and a needed reminder that you are not the center of the universe and there’s more to life than your same mundane problems. Don’t forget what the point of it all is!
#5: Look for easy wins: I’ve been loving the TikTok series where this woman has been timing how long it takes her to do certain tasks she’s been putting off. Cleaning three junk drawers is an activity that she’s put off for a full year but actually takes less than hour. For me, it’s helpful to compartmentalize icky tasks into 15-25 minute windows or even timing how long it takes me to do something.
My latest hyperfixation is the Sex and the City “work with me” series on YouTube. There’s something about working to jazz while watching Carrie type listlessly that makes me want to get things done. Set a 15 min timer and put on the playlist and you’ll feel like you actually (somewhat) romanticize working.
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I’m usually not a horoscope / moon phase person but it does feel like something is always in the AIR this time of year. Yesterday, I saw Angelina publish about this VERY subject and it feels like we’re all kind of going through it:
This was my routine to stop a crash out in its tracks but oftentimes we only have 10 minutes to get it together — take the parts that make sense and iterate on what works best for you. The last thing I’ll say is the thing I want to hear the least: sometimes you need to just call it a day and go to bed early.
There are days where I start to feel like myself again and others I’ll be frustrated for falling off the wagon. The key is to not beat ourselves up for falling back into the same trap. As Maggie Nelson writes, take in the pleasures of ordinary devotion:
“The pleasure of recognizing that one may have to undergo the same realizations, write the same notes in the margin, return to the same themes in one’s work, relearn the same emotional truths, write the same book over and over again–not because one is stupid or obstinate or incapable of change, but because such revisitations constitute a life.”